I am sitting here working on my breakout talk for the Willow Arts Conference coming up next week and doing my usual freakout.  What to say.  What not to say.  Where to start.  Where to end.  How much PowerPoint should there be?  Should there be walk in music?  If so, what should it be?

The funny part to me is that I have been reading the story of Mary and Martha and how at the end Jesus tells Martha to just abide in Him, and like Martha, I am getting caught up in all the details and not trusting in Him for the results of my breakout.  If everything isn’t perfect, the breakout will be a disaster.

The reality is that I need to do what God has called me to be about and then let Him worry about how it affects people.  There is a mysterious point at which I end and He begins.  I am hoping to reach that and that I let God take over.

I am really getting excited about the potenial for what God can do through all the teachers, all the music, all the drama, basically everything happening next week.  God is going to impact the lives of thousands of people.

Will I get out of the way enough to be one of those affected?

With my new responsibilities, I have been way busier. In my head, I complain a lot about the new amount of meetings I am in and how busy I seem and how I wish I had more time for the things that really matter.

Yesterday, I actually had an afternoon with no meetings. When the time came, I couldn’t figure out what I should be doing. I sat there thinking “I know I have a ton of things to do, but what are they?” I am used to being so busy with running around, that I have a difficult time living a different way.

I am going to try writing down the important things so I can remember them when I have time that isn’t filled up; a list of critically important tasks that I can always pull out in those moments.

I have become more and more uncomfortable just talking about what the problems are or even what the solution to the problem might be.  Unfortunately, I am also uncomfortable with the actually doing something about the problem; taking action.  That means the possibility of failure.  But if I don’t try, then how will things ever get better?  If I don’t try, than things will stay the same, which I know I don’t like.  If I do try, what is the worst that can happen?  We decide it doesn’t work, then we try something else.  I’m going for it.

I have been reading Carly Fiorina’s book, Tough Choices. She basically tells her story and makes some great leadership observations along the way. Today I read a chapter called “Adopt and Go”. She talked a bunch about the merger between HP and Compaq and the need to come up with a new identity for the new, combined company. Since I have been a values kick, I wanted to quote her perspective on the need for values in an organization.

“Values are signposts to guide people’s behavior when the rules aren’t clear and the supervisor isn’t present. Goals and metrics are what gets done; values are how those things get done.”

“Values are aspirational; not everyone in the organization lives up to them every day. Yet there’s a difference between falling short of an aspiration…and willful violation of bedrock principles.”

That’ what I’m saying.  The further away from leadership you get, the more difficult it is to know how to operate and what really matters.  Values are a way to take the guess work out; to help people further down make decisions that line up with what the organization is about.

If you are looking for a good read, Tough Choices, by Carly Fiorina gets a thumbs up from me.

I don’t love talking in large groups…OK, maybe I do like it, but I never like that feeling of not knowing exactly what to say.  Yesterday I needed to stand up in front of a group and was really not sure what to say.  I wrote myself a couple notes, I stressed about it, and even got some sweaty palms.  When it came time to open my mouth, I am not sure that anything profound came out, but words definitely came out that I hadn’t planned on.  Afterwards, I realized that I had stepped up to what I needed to be about, I had even prepared to make it the best possible (which still felt like not enough) and God had showed up to make up the difference.  After it was all over I was sitting in the services and realized that if nothing else, people get a chance to see what I think and feel instead of me being the only one who knows.

If I want the culture at Willow to be one that I am proud to be a part of I need to keep stepping up to these chances to speak into the culture, even when I don’t like the feeling of not knowing exactly what to say.  If I am obedient, God will show up.

I have resolved this year to not sit back and let things suck.  Whether it is relationships, or process, or the product or a bad decision, I am committed to doing something.  I may not have the appropriate positional authority, but I am going to try none the less.

So far this year, it has been great to see God work as I have stepped out to tackle a potentially sticky situation.  Since I have no control over the outcome, I have enjoyed the direction God chooses to move things in.  I was looking back at an older blog and noticed that a year ago I had a similar New Year’s Resolution.  As I recall, those particular situations got unpleasant, but my character has grown a ton.  I think I am going to keep it up.

A group of people working together toward the same goal is natually doomed to failure.   We are all different and  we all have a different idea of what the same goal is.  Daily leadership and constant reminders and crystal clear vision is required to bring all of us together, moving in the same direction.  It is amazing that anything happens in groups with the criteria being so tough.  I am praying for God to bring those things to our team.  Only He can any way.  I can’t.

I had a run of great meetings yesterday. They were focused. They were full of people heading in the same direction. We were being creative and using the gifts that God had given to each of us. Looking back, yesterday was probably the best day in a long while. It seemed like we were actually going somewhere.

I will attempt to not take for granted a group of people working well together. What a gift.

I am not totally sure I am a fan of Obama, but I have to say that he not only has a great speech writer, but he can deliver the lines! In his acceptance speech, he talked about reaching up and bending the arc of history. I thought it was such a moving picture. To have control of history. To be able to affect history. To be an influence on the future.

I think that as a production person, I always assumed that someone else would make sure things were going well. That someone else would figure out how to solve the problems we were facing. I am in a season right now where I see problems and wonder if anyone is going to do anything about them. I don’t know if anyone knows what to do or maybe think they don’t have the freedom to do anything.

Obama’s speech has got me thinking. I need to be willing to create the future I see. I have to be willing to put myself on the line and make the changes I think need to happen. I need to reach up and bend that sucker. I can’t wait for someone else to grab it.

It is amazing to me how important a mission statement and values are. I used to think they were a waste of time, which, at the time, they probably were. But without a framework, how can anybody work together to get anything done? How can we agree on what success looks like without knowing what success looks like?

We have been struggling with this lately here. Each person has their own idea of what matters and what doesn’t. Their own idea of what a homerun is. Their own idea of success.

Even though the idea of sitting down and working through what the point is, sounds awful. Do it. When it is all over, everyone will be on the same page, headed for the same goal. Success (or failure) will be obvious…or at least more obvious.